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User blog:Medscootsman/Cake's writing.
Okay, I think i'll leave the rest for Sean. But Cake's writing in my opinion? Ridiculous! Lack of inspiration. poor, unrealistic, characters, scenes clearly ripped off from other games, biased, forced "facts" from his opinions. Poorly done scenes and basically turning A.L.O.F into a unoriginal Fanfic. I shall leave the rest to Sean, since he's part of the A.L.O.F team. Sean Starts here: Okay, so now that Scotty has let that out of his system, let's get down to the topic. And yes, this will be hot; and it will burn. Cake, A Light of Freedom is not a place where we just blatantly rip-off scenes from games or just put new characters into a scene already done by a game. One scene almost rips-off a scene from Far Cry 3. And if you are going to add an experimental weapon into the canon, GIVE ME OR SCOTTY THE DETAILS. The XM500 .50 Cal sniper rifle is just a ridiculous idea. First off, the weapon is in development. Second: how on Earth could anyone acquire it within a few days? It would take weeks, if not months for it to arrive for field testing, and would need to be cleared for by the maker. And I'm pretty sure Barrett isn't ready to field test it yet. Now to the characters. A murderer of 14 Officials from Kosovo (That apparently went undetected) that no one could ever pin. A Vietnam War veteran who survived a deadly disease. And a refugee from Africa. None of these characters could even be part of a unit. Ratko wouldn't be on it legally and upon a review of his file, would be harshly dejected. Stewert is simply too old to fight anymore, and even more so, should be discharged from both the Army and the GNQ PMC's. And finally, Jordan was a mailman and has no experience around tanks; unless he found the time to train for it. Leon gets past this by being a militiaman during the Dizobine War; which makes him the best choice for GNQ. To be blunt: none of these characters could have ever served with the rest of the PMC's without some viable explanation. Adding onto it, your own character was a General in the Red Army pretty damn quickly. Too quickly. He merely enlisted and was made a general within mere months or a few years. This would normally take even the most dedicated a good decade or so. There are also issues with the way his girlfriend dies; including the statement that his girlfriend's cancer was spotted only two weeks before her death and that she was taking Chemo for it. This needs to be fixed (and I WILL fix it). The only character who seems to be realistic is Carlson, who manages to also have more depth later on. Now the proverbial icing on the imaginary cake: Ideals. Too much of these anti-NATO/UN ideals. An old trivia on your character's page almost clearly stated that he hated both organization and was based on no facts whatsoever. Furthermore, Ratko's page adds the unnessecary fact that he's Athiest and likes agriculture. This seems directly designed to shove those views into our faces and try and promote them in some way. So I'll bold this for anyone if it's not already clear: THE WIKI IS NOT A PLACE FOR YOU TO PREACH. No religious character has a fact saying that he thinks the Russian Federation is corrupt. No character has any reason for a religious bias unless it's clearly stated in the comic media. Example: Sean and Grace were both religious, and it showed. Thus, it should be listed. But I never saw any reason for us to read why Cake hates the UN or that Ratko doesn't believe in a deity. There should be no reason until it's seen and explained in media. This is also one of Scotty's (not to mention one of mine) peeves: "Dialouge doesn't end like this."- I said. But that can be edited simply at times. Other times, it makes scenes confusing and hard to follow. Sometimes it makes them downright senseless. Parting words All of the points above should be taken into consideration. This is annoying at the most for me; who has to piece this all together and I spend much of my free-time doing so. So talk to me and Scotty when writing up something; and let us help you so we can get this story right. Hopefully this can help anyone on the wiki who is thinking of writing a story for it. -''ScoutSean'' Ratko the douchebag Ratko would make a good character, but out of the 4 cakestormers: He's the w''orst. Ratko's atititude can be a killer. At one point, he tells his teamates to not touch him at all. However, considering the situation. This could get himself killed! Plus, he can't handle ilitary equipment: You're supposed to charge batteries for a radio before an operation; not during it! Like Sean said he also apparently managed to kill 14 Officials Undetected In Kosovo. A country the size of your average Scottish county. WHY WOULD THEY HIRE 14 PEOPLE TO GOVERN A COUNTRY THAT SIZE. No one could do such a feat too! Another thing: Don't kill characters because they insulted your precious super duper awesome character, it's childish. ''Scotty. We've made our point Scotty. This is just beating the dead horse. ScoutSean Category:Blog posts